DEATH ROW GOT A CHAMBER — THE NEEDLE TEAM GOT THE YIPS

NASHVILLE — Christa Gail Pike earned a needle. In 1995 she helped torture and murder Colleen Slemmer. Jury said death. Tennessee finally wheeled her into the chamber Wednesday — first woman the state tried to execute in two centuries — and somehow she left in an ambulance instead of a hearse.

Two doses of pentobarbital. Still breathing. Still snoring. Critical condition, lawyers say, on life-saving care. Media counted a mess of needles hunting a vein. Gov. Bill Lee called it deeply disturbing and froze the rest of the year’s calendar. Conservatives who believe in capital punishment for monsters are allowed to say two true things at once: Pike belonged on that gurney, and the soft crew that couldn’t finish the job embarrassed every victim’s family waiting for justice to mean something.

She deserved to die. Colleen Slemmer deserved finality. What she got was a state that spent decades arguing about feelings and then hired hands who can’t close. If women were running that needle because it looked progressive to feminize a death chamber, the receipt is in: when the moment is final, you need people who can finish — not a therapy circle with syringes.

Looney liberals will call this proof that death is cruel. FNN calls it proof that monsters need competent executioners, not DEI vibes in the chamber. Support the sentence. Fire the flub. Print Colleen’s name louder than Pike’s hospital update.